Let’s be honest—we’ve all heard the buzz about sex toys (pun intended). From hushed conversations among friends to increasingly open discussions on social media, these pleasure accessories have firmly established themselves in mainstream conversations about sexual wellness. But beyond the giggles and blushes lies a legitimate question: Do sex toys actually improve your sex life? Based on interviews with dozens of sex educators, therapists, and everyday users, here’s a breakdown of what the research actually shows.
The Fascinating History of Sex Toys: Nothing New Under the Sheets
Visitors to the Museum of Sex in New York are often startled to learn that our ancestors were quite inventive. Archaeological findings suggest humans have been crafting tools for pleasure as far back as 30,000 years ago. Carved phalluses from the Paleolithic era have been discovered across Europe, suggesting our relationship with pleasure aids is nearly as old as civilization itself.
“Throughout history, every culture has developed its own relationship with sexual pleasure objects,” explains Dr. Maria Gonzalez, professor of anthropology at Columbia University. “From Ancient Greece, where olisbos—hand-carved dildos—were common, to Renaissance Europe, where ‘marital aids’ were discreetly sold by traveling merchants.”
Despite this long history, sex toys haven’t always enjoyed social acceptance. As recently as the 1970s, many U.S. states maintained laws classifying sex toys as “obscene devices.” Texas, for example, only saw its anti-sex toy law struck down in 2008—yes, 2008!
From Taboo to Target: The Mainstreaming of Pleasure
According to market research firm Statista, the global sex toy industry reached an estimated value of $33.6 billion in 2023, with projections to hit $52.7 billion by 2026. This explosive growth isn’t happening in the shadows—major retailers like Walmart and CVS now stock sexual wellness products alongside vitamins and personal care items.
The COVID-19 pandemic served as an unexpected catalyst. With couples separated by lockdowns and singles navigating dating in isolation, sex toy sales skyrocketed by 200% in March-April 2020, according to data from WOW Tech Group, the company behind well-known brands like We-Vibe and Womanizer.
“We saw five years of market evolution compressed into five months,” says Janet Lieberman-Lu, co-founder of Dame Products. “Suddenly, people who might never have considered purchasing a vibrator were placing their first orders.”
Breaking Down the Options: A Guide to What’s What
For those new to the world of sex toys, the sheer variety can be overwhelming. Here’s a guide to navigating the essentials:
Vibrators: The Swiss Army Knife of Pleasure
From bullet vibes small enough to fit in a makeup bag to wand massagers with enough power to qualify as small appliances, vibrators remain the most versatile and popular category. According to a 2022 survey by sex toy retailer Lovehoney, 68% of sex toy owners have at least one vibrator in their collection.
The technology has evolved dramatically, too. “Today’s high-end vibrators offer multiple vibration patterns, intensity settings, and even app connectivity,” explains sex educator Ashley Manta. “Some can be controlled from across the globe—perfect for long-distance relationships.”
Dildos: The Classics Reimagined
While the basic concept hasn’t changed much since ancient times, modern materials science has revolutionized the dildo experience. Medical-grade silicone, hand-blown glass, and even stainless steel options provide different sensations and temperature play possibilities.
Anal Toys: The Final Frontier
Once considered taboo even among sex toy enthusiasts, anal play has entered the mainstream conversation. Specially designed with flared bases for safety, these toys target the thousands of nerve endings in and around the anus. For people with prostates, these toys can provide access to what some call the “male G-spot.”
Specialty Items: Beyond the Basics
The market has expanded to include toys for every preference and need:
- Pleasure air technology: Uses air pulses rather than vibration
- Kegel exercisers: Strengthen pelvic floor muscles for health benefits
- Gender-affirming devices: Help transgender individuals express their gender identity
- Accessibility-focused designs: Feature large buttons and ergonomic handles for users with mobility limitations
The Unexpected Health Benefits: More Than Just Pleasure
Dr. Lauren Streicher, Medical Director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Health, emphasizes that sex toys offer legitimate health benefits beyond just good times.
“Vibrators can increase blood flow to genital tissues, which is particularly beneficial for postmenopausal women experiencing vaginal dryness or decreased sensitivity,” Dr. Streicher explains. “Many medical professionals regularly prescribe vibrators to patients dealing with these issues.”
Other documented benefits include:
Physical Health Advantages
- Pelvic floor strengthening: Regular use of certain toys can help prevent incontinence and improve core stability
- Pain management: For conditions like vaginismus or dyspareunia, gradually introducing toys can help desensitize painful areas
- Sleep improvement: Orgasms release oxytocin and endorphins that can improve sleep quality
Mental and Emotional Benefits
- Stress reduction: Sexual pleasure activates the body’s relaxation response
- Body confidence: Learning what feels good can increase body appreciation
- Relationship satisfaction: According to a 2017 study in the Journal of Sex Research, couples who use sex toys together report higher levels of communication and sexual satisfaction
“One of the most powerful benefits seen in clinical practice is how sex toys help people reclaim their sexuality after trauma or major life changes like childbirth or cancer treatment,” shares sex therapist Dr. Michael Perelman. “They provide a safe way to reconnect with pleasure on one’s own terms.”
Safety First: The Non-Negotiables
Experts consistently emphasize that safety cannot be overlooked. Here’s what consumers need to know:
Materials Matter
“Always look for body-safe materials,” advises Dr. Jess O’Reilly, sexologist and relationship expert. “Stick to medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel from reputable manufacturers.”
Avoid toys made from jelly rubber, PVC, or materials containing phthalates—chemicals that can disrupt hormones and potentially cause tissue irritation. Reputable retailers like Babeland and Good Vibrations rigorously test the products they sell for safety.
Hygiene Habits
According to a 2021 survey by sex toy manufacturer LELO, 36% of users don’t clean their toys correctly after each use. This oversight can lead to bacterial infections and UTIs.
“Clean your toys before and after each use with mild soap and warm water, or use a specialized toy cleaner,” recommends Dr. Streicher. “For electronic toys that aren’t waterproof, use a damp cloth with toy cleaner or alcohol wipes.”
Lube Logic
Using the right lubricant not only enhances pleasure but also prevents microtears in sensitive tissue. However, not all lubes work with all toys:
- Water-based lubricants are compatible with all toy materials
- Silicone-based lubricants should never be used with silicone toys (they can degrade the material)
- Oil-based lubricants break down latex condoms and can trap bacteria
Finding Your Perfect Match: A Personalized Approach
Sex educator Zoë Ligon, founder of Spectrum Boutique, emphasizes personalization over trends. “The ‘best’ sex toy is the one that works for your unique body and preferences—not whatever has the most Instagram followers.”
Her advice for first-time buyers:
- Start with your known preferences: “If you already know you enjoy clitoral stimulation, start with a vibrator designed for that. If penetration is your thing, explore dildos or internal vibrators.”
- Consider practical factors: “Think about noise levels if you have roommates, waterproof options if you enjoy bath play, and rechargeable versus battery-operated depending on your lifestyle.”
- Don’t be swayed by gimmicks: “A simple, quality vibrator will often provide more satisfaction than a novelty toy with bells and whistles.”
- Budget appropriately: “While there are decent options at lower price points, investing in a quality toy made from body-safe materials typically starts around $80-100. Consider it an investment in your pleasure and health.”
Real Stories, Real Results
Testimonials from sex toy users across age ranges, genders, and relationship statuses illuminate the real-world impact these products can have:
Maria, 52: “After my divorce, I felt disconnected from my sexuality. My first vibrator helped me rediscover what pleasure felt like on my terms. It was liberating.”
James, 35: “Using toys with my wife completely changed our communication. We started talking openly about what feels good, which spilled over into other aspects of our relationship.”
Alex, 29: “As a transgender man, certain toys have helped alleviate my dysphoria and allow me to express my sexuality in ways that affirm my gender identity.”
Taylor and Jordan, 40s: “After 15 years of marriage and two kids, our sex life had become predictable. Introducing toys helped us break patterns and find new ways to connect. It’s like dating each other again.”
Conclusion: A Tool, Not a Replacement
Perhaps the most important insight from this exploration is that sex toys work best when viewed as enhancement tools rather than replacements for human connection. As noted sexologist Dr. Emily Morse puts it, “The best sex toy is the one that complements rather than competes with the intimacy you share with yourself or a partner.”
Whether you’re looking to spice up a long-term relationship, explore your personal preferences, or address specific sexual health concerns, today’s market offers solutions designed with your pleasure and wellbeing in mind. With proper education, quality products, and an open mind, sex toys can indeed transform your relationship with your body and your partners.
The real question isn’t whether sex toys can improve your sex life—the evidence clearly suggests they can—but rather, which journey of exploration is right for you?
Sources:
- Journal of Sex Research (2017): “Couples’ Shared Participation in Novel and Arousing Activities and Relationship Quality”
- Archives of Sexual Behavior (2022): “Vibrator Use Among American Women: Prevalence, Characteristics, and Implications for Sexual Health”
- The Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law: “Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures”
- Statista Market Research: “Global Sex Toy Market Size 2019-2026”
- LELO Global Sex Survey (2021)
- Dr. Lauren Streicher, Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Health
- Dr. Maria Gonzalez, Columbia University Department of Anthropology
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Consult with a healthcare provider for personalized recommendations regarding sexual health concerns.